January Humor

Two local farmers in Ohio besides growing crops liked to collect unique animals from all over the world to see who could out do who. Charlie had a talking chicken and a pig that like to tell stories as well as talk to everyone, Harry the other farmer had a talking duck and he had Ed the talking horse, you remember Mister Ed .

Well Charlie purchased a bull and cow combination that cost him plenty of money so he called  Harry up and told him to come over and see them, well Harry told him he would be over just a soon as his new talking Zebra arrived.

A week later Harry pulled up to Charlies front door with a horse trailer in tow, Chartlie came out to say hello and see what Harry had, so harry showed him Ted the talking Zebra. Charlie was impressed, he said come with me I will show you my two new animals.

So Harry followed Charlie with Ted  the Zebra in tow,  and Charlie pointed to the bull and cow in the pasture and said they both talk why dont you leave Ted the Zebra here and you  and I will go have lunch at my house.

So they headed  to the house and Ted started walking toward the cow and bull but he was stoped by a voice from behind him, “ asking what are you?”  as he turned to see who was talking he said I am Ted a Zebra, “what are you?” Sally the chicken spoke up and said I am a chicken and I give eggs to the farmer. The Pete the pig said, “I am a pig and I will supply the farmer with ham and baccon”.

Ted smiled and said good bye and walked over to the cow, Ted said “hello my name is Ted I am a talking Zebra”, who are you? Betty the cow answered , I am a cow named Betty and I give milk to the farmer. Ted turned to the bull and ask, “ who are you?” and “what do you do?​”. The bull looked at Ted and said my name is Thunder, “ and you take off those fancy pajamas I will show you what I do.”

Loyal Secretary Joke

Bernice had been employed at the same office for over 50 years and was the boss’s top secretary. Everyone was jealous of her. Every day when Bernice showed up for work she would open the drawer to her left, peek inside, and then lock it. When she finally died, her coworker Sandy, who was dying of curiosity, made it her mission to figure out what was in that drawer.

After days of searching she finally found the key. Sweating with excitement she slowly opened up the drawer. Inside was a folded piece of paper. Slowly she reached inside and took it out, while cautiously looking over her shoulder. After a few seconds of trepidation she opened it up.

It said the following “Put only one spoonful of sugar in the boss’s coffee.”

Business is Business

The business I work for had a dinner together with all family members. Before the first speech, the emcee gave the following announcement, “we kindly ask if you can please put all cell phones and children on vibrate.”

 Thanks for  being here with me and may I wish you a Happy 2014.