Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Fusion Micro Supercomputers

The Fusion Micro Super Computer is a super duper very tiny very powerful computer. A real computer featuring all the latest technology in the palm of your hand. This micro computer allows you to work and play wherever your at. You can connect to the internet with 5ghz speeds. Comes with the New Windows 10. The latest Intel® Cherry Trail Atom chipset for improved graphics performance. With bells and whistles we can't seem to do without these days, CPU 1.83GHz and bluetooth, You will have an awesome gaming experience or host a LAN party on any size screen with a convenient HDMI connection. Want to impress your boss with a great presentation? Forget about wires and that USB FLASH DRIVE, just carry the whole computer in the palm of your hand instead and simply plug right into the projector! Look at family pictures/videos. Shop on Amazon and so much more. It's a computer the entire family can use.
Read more at www.fusionmicro.info

Saturday, February 8, 2014

February Humor

A man goes hiking. he gets tired after a while and finds a cave to rest in he sees a shining light at the end of the tunnel its a magic lamp he rubs it and a genie pops out.
The genie says, "I will give you three wishes but there's a catch, everything you wish for your wife gets double."
So the man says okay.
First he wishes for a convertible, the genie says, "OK your wife gets double."
Then he wishes for a million dollars, the genie says, "OK your wife gets double."
Then his last wish is, "Beat me half to death."



Will was trying to to teach his son the evils of alcohol.
He put a worm in a glass of water & another in a glass of whiskey.
The worm in the water lived while the one in the whiskey curled up & d*ed.
"All right, son," Said Will, "what does that show you?"
"Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol you will not have worms."



A man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house like he used to.
When the examination was complete, he said "Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."



Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a blonde who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect blonde? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect blonde. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."





A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

Thursday, January 16, 2014

January Humor

Two local farmers in Ohio besides growing crops liked to collect unique animals from all over the world to see who could out do who. Charlie had a talking chicken and a pig that like to tell stories as well as talk to everyone, Harry the other farmer had a talking duck and he had Ed the talking horse, you remember Mister Ed .

Well Charlie purchased a bull and cow combination that cost him plenty of money so he called  Harry up and told him to come over and see them, well Harry told him he would be over just a soon as his new talking Zebra arrived.

A week later Harry pulled up to Charlies front door with a horse trailer in tow, Chartlie came out to say hello and see what Harry had, so harry showed him Ted the talking Zebra. Charlie was impressed, he said come with me I will show you my two new animals.

So Harry followed Charlie with Ted  the Zebra in tow,  and Charlie pointed to the bull and cow in the pasture and said they both talk why dont you leave Ted the Zebra here and you  and I will go have lunch at my house.

So they headed  to the house and Ted started walking toward the cow and bull but he was stoped by a voice from behind him, “ asking what are you?”  as he turned to see who was talking he said I am Ted a Zebra, “what are you?” Sally the chicken spoke up and said I am a chicken and I give eggs to the farmer. The Pete the pig said, “I am a pig and I will supply the farmer with ham and baccon”.

Ted smiled and said good bye and walked over to the cow, Ted said “hello my name is Ted I am a talking Zebra”, who are you? Betty the cow answered , I am a cow named Betty and I give milk to the farmer. Ted turned to the bull and ask, “ who are you?” and “what do you do?​”. The bull looked at Ted and said my name is Thunder, “ and you take off those fancy pajamas I will show you what I do.”

Loyal Secretary Joke


Bernice had been employed at the same office for over 50 years and was the boss’s top secretary. Everyone was jealous of her. Every day when Bernice showed up for work she would open the drawer to her left, peek inside, and then lock it. When she finally died, her coworker Sandy, who was dying of curiosity, made it her mission to figure out what was in that drawer.
After days of searching she finally found the key. Sweating with excitement she slowly opened up the drawer. Inside was a folded piece of paper. Slowly she reached inside and took it out, while cautiously looking over her shoulder. After a few seconds of trepidation she opened it up.
It said the following “Put only one spoonful of sugar in the boss’s coffee.”

Business is Business

The business I work for had a dinner together with all family members. Before the first speech, the emcee gave the following announcement, “we kindly ask if you can please put all cell phones and children on vibrate.”


 Thanks for  being here with me and may I wish you a Happy 2014.

Monday, December 30, 2013

December Jokes

   One day an elderly pastor confides in his parishioners that he's feeling a bit lonely and depressed. So one of the parishioners suggests to the pastor that he buy a pet. Thinking this a grand idea, the pastor hurries into town and after much deliberation, buys a parrot.
   Unfortunately not five minutes after arriving home, the parrot starts hurling a string of expletives at the pastor.
   After about an hour it gets to be too much, so the pastor walks up to the parrot, slaps him on the beak, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the parrot madder and he starts swearing at the pastor in even more colorful language.
   Finally the pastor has had it and says, "All right, that's it." Grabbing a blanket, the pastor throws it over the parrot's cage and screams, "Now, SHUT UP!" Well, this really irritates the parrot and he starts clawing and scratching at the bars of his cage. Finally the pastor removes the blanket. Immediately the parrot starts right in on the pastor again.
   By this time, the pastor is so infuriated that he grabs the parrot by the throat and throws him into the freezer. Well, the parrot starts swearing and thrashing about so loudly that the pastor is considering killing the bird. Just as he's thinking this, it gets very...very quiet.
    At first the pastor just stares at the refrigerator, but then he starts to think that the parrot might be seriously injured. He becomes so worried that he runs over to the refrigerator and throws open the freezer door.
   The parrot climbs out of the freezer, flaps the ice off his wings, and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I've caused you father. In the future, I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary."
   The pastor is astounded. He can't believe the sudden transformation that has come over the parrot. Finally the parrot turns to the pastor and says, "Um....by the way, what did the chicken do?

Wow what a special Pig
   Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"
   "Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"
   "And the boar tore up his leg?" "No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"
   "So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?" "No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."
  "And that was when he hurt his leg?" "Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."
   "OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"
    "Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once."

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

November Jokes

    A very rich man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a postcard, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange postcard today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife handed the card over and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

   A young lady gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The lady goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You should go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

   An older couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "I think you should, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"

    A senior citizen was driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!'' Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''

Sunday, October 20, 2013

October Jokes

MEMORY or no memory JOKE

A 90 plus year-old couple were having problems with their memory, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. They explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were in good health, however, the best thing to do was to start writing things down and make notes to help them to remember things. Later that night while watching television, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure honey." She then asked him, "Don't you think that you should write it down on a note so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that." She then said, "Well I would also like some chocolate syrup on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with chocolate syrup." She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."
    Now irritated, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then goes down stairs to the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"

Fast food JOKE
   A man decides to eat in a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a prickly black hair inside of the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on back there!"
    So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and the man witnesses the cook taking a meat patty and flattening it under his armpit. He says, "That's disgusting!"
   Then the waitress says, "If you think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

Getting Pulled Over by a cop Joke 
    A man and his wife are driving down the highway when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to the man, "Do you know that you were speeding?" The man replies, "No sir, I didn't know I was speeding." The mans wife then yells, "Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I've been telling you to slow down for miles." "SHUT UP!" the man says to his wife, "Shut woman, just sit back and be quite." Then the cop says, "Well, since I've got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?" "No Sir" the man replies, "I did not know that either." "YES YOU DID!" His wife yells, "I've been telling you to go get it up to date for months!" "Shut up" the man yells to his wife again! "Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!" Curious, the cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her, "Does he always talk to you this way?" "No" she replies, " Only when he's drunk!"