JULY JOKES

Twin boys John and Billy always walk to school together in this small village called Mentor, one day John arrived at school alone, so the teacher asked what happened to Billy, John said Billy got his butt caught on the fence! Teacher said “rectum”, John said wrecked em hell damn near killed him.

An article in the newspaper read as follows, Man pulled over for going 100 mile per hour down route 306 in Mentor. The police man asked why the fellow did not slow down when he saw the flashing lights and heard the siren, the fellow told the officer, that his wife ran away with a police officer a few days ago and I thought you may have been bringing her back.

Two elderly gentlemen are fishing at Veterans Park in Mentor, a young boy came up to them and asked what are they fishing for, one of the elderly gentlemen spoke up and said hammer-fors!  The young boy said what is a hammer-for, the other elderly gentlemen said whats a matter boy don't you know that a hammer for pounding nails.

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women

#10- You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9- You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8- If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7- Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6- Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5- A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4- Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3- A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2- A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the Number One reason.....

You can buy a silencer for a gun